Abg Yie's New House

To give 'space' to newly wed couple at home, we decided to spend two nights at abg Yie's new house in Kuala Terengganu, so that Mommy & Ayah Chik could enjoy their 'Nights of Togetherness' more peacefully..hehehe..

Me & Mr.Hubby with Abg Yie's kids.. From left: Erin, Hamim (at the back), Hazeem & Nurul. Can you notice that Mr.Hubby puts on weight obviously after 4 days in Terengganu. Makan tak henti2..

Dah besar dah adik abang..then Mr.Hubby corrected, 'dah tua dah adik abang'.. dengki ler tuuuu..

With Kak Za.. our relationship among us (ipar duai) is so close until ones could not easily differentiate which is real brothers & sisters and which is in-laws.. Itu antara keistimewaan my family..

Fish BBQ..also a must!

Masa pegi pantai petang tu, kakak nampak nelayan baru bawak naik ikan dari laut.. Kalau ikut orang Terengganu kata, "ikan segor segor, ikan kembong kerah cokkeng".. So, terus kakak ajak ber BBQ malam tu.. Kitorg beli ikan kembung 10 kg.. itupun tak cukup.. Bila orang Terengganu mengadap ikan, orang mesti tertukar, mana satu manusia mana satu kucing...

Bakar depan tangga rumah aje.. Ateh & abg Pie willing nak jadi tukang bakar..

Abg Yie, Chef of Night.. (actually every time buat BBQ memang dialah Chef nya. he used to be a captain Chef at the Rantau Petronas golf Club once). Malam tu, dengan mata yg bengkak pun, (sakit mata), sanggup dia jadi chef...


Beginilah riuh nya bila berkumpul..

Menjamu Selera dengan lahapnya.. Miow Miow Miow..

Mommy & Ayah Chik (panggilan kepada ayah baru atas permintaan nya)..

Present yg aku beli that day.. i asked Abg Ju (the youngest brother) to hand it to Ayah Chik..

Trip to the beach..a must!!

Ini aje yg dapat dikumpul.. 17 out of 29.. ramai kan?? But I'm proud of having them.. Bear in mind ya..yg kat tengah tu, in turqoise tu, dah umur 31 tau.. not a Fifth Former.. Cuma2 bila jumpa budak2 ni, Chujie & Uncle Z pulak yg lebih2 jadi budak...

Yang selalu ikut kehendak bebudak ni adalah Chujie & Uncle Z yg comel ni...huargh huargh...

Eh, korang tahu tak Ronaldo datang ke Dungun ari tu?? Sempat aku posing dengan dia..but with his back aje lah..

Along (anak sedara yg paling 'senior' dgn pacar nye.. didatangkan khas dari KL untuk menyaksikan detik bersejarah Tok Wan.. Anis, such a cute girl kan?

The Most Awaited Wedding..Ever!!

The Big Day has arrived.. The old memories has come back when all members of the family gathered for a wedding ceremony. The only difference is in the past the ceremony were my brothers' & sisters' (and mine too while this one is for Mommy!! We pre assume there will be about 100 crowd but rupa2 nya dekat 200 orang yg dtg.. Reasonnya (sempat jugak anak sedara aku menemuramah segelintir dari tetamu yg hadir..) teringin nak tengok orang tua menikah..hehehehe.. Geli hati kadang2 bila aku mikirkan hal ni.. Apa2 pun, Alhamdulillah, majlis berlangsung dengan lancar & meriah sekali.. especially dengan keletah cucu2 Mommy yg seramai 27 orang (Kak Long Syamimi & Asyrul tak dpt balik..ada kem apa ntah kat sekolah). Perasaan aku?? Ermmm.. Happy sebab Mommy dapat seorang teman hidup buat penghibur dikala sepi..(chewwaaahhhh ayat power tuuu)..kekadang sebak bila pikirkan apakah kesudahan hidup Mommy dengan suami baru..bahagiakah dia.. (I pray for that)... sometimes syahdu bila mengingatkan tentang Bak, sedikit sebanyak we all, adik beradik terkenangkan arwah bila kami memanggil suami Mommy Ayah!! Ok..tak nak sedih sedih..view the pictures!!

Aku jadi mak andam tak rasmi ari tu..hehehe.. seronok mengandam mak sendiri ni..

Rasa mcm sama2 berkongsi debaran seorang pengantin..beberapa minit sebelum menjadi isteri orang..

Yang kelakarnya, for the first time, Mommy has no objection, ikut suka aku nak buat macam mana..lilit kiri, lilit kanan...hehehe

Yang ni dah semestinya...

Wajah tenang seorang ibu.. I love you Mommy!!
Adik2 Mommy from KL, KT & Dungun..

Menunggu ketibaan pengantin lelaki..

Jeng Jeng Jeng!! Ayahku dah sampai..Ayahku dah sampai!!

Handsome jugak bakal ayah aku ni ye!! Hehehe.. Naik seri pengantin nya..Orang lama lahhh..ada lah apa2 yg dibacanya tu..hehehe kelakau kelakau..

Alamakk!! Baru sedar yg rumah kitorg ni kecik..bila semua dah masuk rumah..tinggal sikit je ruang kat tengah..muat2 utk pengantin akad nikah..

Abang sulung Mommy dah meninggal, so adik Mommy yg ke-4 jadi wali. Kitorang panggil dia Mama, bahasa Pakistan maksudnya Pak Cik.

kelompok Biru-Kuning..warna tema ciptaan aku utk adik-beradik.. Semua sporting cari baju warna base kuning berbunga biru, bertudung biru.. Berhempas pulas diorg cari..hehehe.. Barulah thrill sikit..sekali sekala, bukan senang nak tgk mak sendiri kawen..

Kelihatan Tok Kadi tu terketar2 nak nikahkan 'Tok Guru' nya.. Ayah aku tu merupakan Tok Kadi Besar (ketua kadi) di daerah Dungun.. First time jugak, khutbah nikah dibaca sendiri oleh si pengantin lelaki..hehe.. ibarat kata tetamu yg dtg.."Bapok segala juru nikoh".. hehehe

Dengan control machonya, dan dgn sekali lafaz, sah lah dia menjadi suami kepada mak aku, iaitu ayah tiri kepada aku & adik-beradik aku & juga terus diangkat pangkatnya menjadi atuk tiri kepada anak2 sedara aku yg seramai 29 orang itu...

Seperti yg aku kata tadi, inilah antara perkahwinan yg ditunggu2 oleh masyarakat sejagat di daerah Dungun ini...oleh yg demikian, dengan sah nya pernikahan ni, serentak itu jugak, semua yang hadir kat situ, tanpa disedari, telah menepuk tangan tanda gembira & berakhirnya suspen dihati..kahkahkah.. Mana ada org tepuk tangan lepas akad nikah kan?? Selalunya orang kata "Alhamdulillah".. tapi agaknya semua org tergamam sekejap..terus tepuk tangan..termasuklah aku & orang2 tua kat situ...ish ish ish..

Saaaaayannngggggg Mommy!!!!!

Part yg best ni.. Upacara pembatalan air sembahyang...(orang tranung kata)..
Penyerahan mas kahwin.. Romantik orang tua2..yg kelakarnya..time tu, diorg ni dikelilingi oleh anak2 & cucu2.. ready nak mengusik & snap pictures.. meriah sgt..

Part ni pun best.. atas desakan cucu2, terpaksalah Ayah aku tu mencium dahi Mommy.. siap dgn acara tawar menawar lagi.. Of course lah diorg malu, tapi kitorg paksa jugak..atas tiket "bila lagi kitorg nak tgk??"

Sessi ucap selamat & kenal mengenal..

Complete!

"Urusetia" menjamu perut masing2 yg dah berkeroncong..

Baik sungguh hati anak2 buah aku ni.. dibiarkan kitorg semua berposing sakan kat atas..depa2 ni tolong basuh periuk.. thanks to Mr.Hubby too as their leader of the day..

Balik Kampung!!

Aku balik kampung ari ni...yahoooooo!!! For my mum's wedding..2 kali yahoooooo!!!

Yesterday,i bought a present for my future 'ayah'..a wallet & a pair of hanky. Hope he'll like it.. It is a symbol of "welcome to the family".. Nak beli baju, i don't know the size, and don't have any idea about his dressing taste..dengar citer, he likes to wear 'jubah'...hahaha..

Now,i'm going to wrap the present nicely in a box..and it's time to pack things & stuff for the journey..

BON VOYAGE...

Martians vs. Venusians..Part 1

From the book;

The 2 most common mistakes we make in a relationship;

• A man tries to change a woman's feelings when she is upset by becoming Mr.Fix-It & offering solutions to her problems that invalidate her feelings.

My comment: Ehmmm....Yes.Sometimes I feel so.He just didn't listen & seems cannot understand.He lacks of empathy.

• A woman tries to change a man's behavior when he makes mistakes by becoming the Home-Improvement Committee & offering unsolicited advice & criticism.

My comment: OMG!I didn't realized it.It's my habit.All the time.I thought it's a good thing to do,all this while...and he never said that he hates it,so I used to think I might just keep on telling (or in fact insisting) him to do this & that,according to my standards...Arghh...I made a mistake!

Well,according to John Gray,it's ok to be Mr.fix-It or Home-Improvement Committee,but it is very much depends on the TIMING & APPROACH.A woman greatly appreciates Mr.Fix-It,as long as it doesn't come out when she is upset.Means,Mr.Hubby need to remember that when I'm upset & talk about problems,it's not the time to offer solutions;instead I just need to be listened,notto be fixed.In that way,I will be better by my own.Hehehe......

Whilst,a man greatly appreciates the Home-Improvement Committee,as long as it is requested.Means,I need to remember that,unsolicited advice & criticism-especially if he has made a mistake-will only make him feel unloved & controlled.(ohhh...poor my dearie).In fact,he needs my acceptance more than my advice (oh God,can I really change this attitude??)in order for him to learnfrom his mistakes.And one truth about this,when a man feels that a woman is not trying to improve him,he is much more likely to ask for her feedback and advice.(ohhh how sweet!!)

WHEN OUR PARTNET RESISTS US,IT'S PROBABLY BECAUSE WE HAVE MADE A MISTAKE IN OUR TIMING & APPROACH

He gives examples of few statements that a man/woman might make that will lead to resistance between each other.

WHEN A WOMAN RESISTS A MAN'S SOLUTION (when a man says.....)

1. "It's not such a big deal." (he always take little things for granted)
2. "Ok,I'm sorry.Now can we just forget it?" (i think he just want to stop argument,instead of solving it)
3. "So what are you trying to say?" (in other words, come-on,you are wasting my time)
4. "All right,I'll clean-up the backyard.Does that make you happy?" (no sincerity)
5. "If you are going to complaint about doing it,then don't do it." (kita ni takleh bangkang langsung)

WHEN A MAN RESISTS A HOME-IMPROVEMENT COMMITTEE (when a woman says....) I don't understand in some of the examples here,I mean,I did honestly ask Mr.Hubby & he said,he's ok with most of the statements..

1. "You hair is getting kind of long,isn't it?" (Aiii..ni pun takleh tanya ke?)
2. "There's a parking spot over there.Turn the car around." (i think this a nice help & Mr.Hubby is always hoping for this..)
3. "You should call a plumber.He'll know what to do." (haa..this one might be true.he possibly feels being mistrusted in doing/fixing things)
4. "Next time we should read the movie review." (he will feel unappreciated)
5. "Your shirt doesn't match with your pants." (Well,Mr.Hubby is kind of be thankful to me by saying this..)

..and a few other examples more.Maybe I should read in more details in the coming chapters. For the time being,a cup of Chamomile Tea will give me a pure relaxation....ehmmmm....

I want to be a better me..

My conversation with Mr.Hubby last few days kept haunting me. We were not discussing any big issue,in fact it was just a normal conversation..manja manja conversation but somehow it was really bothering me. It makes me thinking again and again..finding the truth, sorting for a logical reason behind those words that he had expressed.. The conversation went on like this:

It was at night & I was getting to bed while Mr.Hubby was at the computer, making sure that he is kept updated with the last general election news.. Suddenly I felt some sort of painful bloating in my upper stomach, so I hunched to him..

Me : Syg..tolong tepuk belakang I ni jap..sakit lah. Tetiba je.. Angin kot..
Mr.Hubby : Naper plak ni??

Then , he tapped 4 or 5 times on my back, but still with his eyes on the computer screen.. while mumbling this..

Mr.Hubby : Pegi ambik losyen halia, sapu belakang..takpun gi minum air suam...kejap lagi hilang lah tu..
Me : Syg ni,mintak tolong pun buat acuh tak acuh je..takpe lah. I can do it on my own..
(walked away with kind of dissapointment feeling..rasa macam ishh tak leh harap betul lah)

I was not expecting any reply or indeed I was hoping that he will persuade me..but this is what happened,

Mr.Hubby : Alahhh..you lagi teruk..Kalau I sakit, langsung buat tak dengar je..Suruh urut sikit pun tak buat.. (than he just let me walking back to the room whilst he continued browsing)

I was thinking & did a self inner-talking , is it true what he said? When & how many times on earth did he fell sick compared to myself? (he is lucky enough, thank God,he is very very seldom sick) Macam mana aku nak urut if I have so tiny fingers to put a 'rubbing force' on his 'fleshful' (hahaha) body? I do rub his nose & chest with Vicks everytime he got a flu..which is only 2 or 3 times a year.. I do offer him warm water whenever he is uncomfortable with his roundy stomach..(ahaha again).. It's true that he is there most of the time I fell sick, but my case is different..i got a severe pain which obviously need a help..i couldn't even walk, couldn't stand sometimes..of course he must do something.. So,is it fair for him to say such words to me????

I don't care much if he's wrong..I assume that he mistakenly thought about me..Well,everybody do that! But how about if he is right? that I don't care & nurture him the way I'm supposed to do? I don't want that to be happened.. truly..

Still having this confusion in my mind, I stepped into the MPH today..actually without any specific purpose..but hoping to get some guides.. Until my eyes caught a book..I know this book, it is one the bestseller titles. Flipped a few pages, and now it's with me on the bed. MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS by John Gray.



Just finished reading Chapter 2.. The more I read, the more I regret of being the all-this-while me.. I always thought that I've done great, but oppositely I'm wrong.. I thought I'm building up our relationship, but on the other hand, i'm kind of ruining it. I thought our love has increased by day,on the contrary it may diminish within minutes.. Sounds like telur di hujung tanduk right?? Not la..not as bad as that... Cuma, sometimes, my point is.. we think we have delivered the best.. but in reality, we can be better than that.. Not just wife, husband too..of course.

We often forgot that we are from a different planets & were supposed to be different, indeed. It's getting worse when one day, everything we had learned about our differences was erased from memory..and since that day, man & woman have been in conflict..

I quote from the book:

Without the awareness that we supposed to be different, men and women are at odds with each other.We usually become angry or frustrated with the opposite sex because we have forgottenthis important truth.We expect the opposite sex to be more like ourselves.We desire them to "want what we want" and "feel the way we feel".

We mistakenly assume that if our partners love us they will react and behave in certain ways-the ways we react and behave when we love someone.This attitude sets us up to be dissappointed again and again and prevent us from taking the necessary time to communicate lovingly about our differences.

Men mistakenly expect women to think,communicate and react the way men do;women mistakenly expect men to feel,communicate and respond the way women do.We have forgotten that men and women are supposed to be different.As a result our relationships are filled with unnecessary friction and conflict.

I hate conflicts..and I decided,before it happens..i want by all means,avoiding it from happen. We are happy now, and I want us to be 'happier' along with time.. May we find ways on how to achieve that... only one problem now,how could i persuade Mr.Hubby to read this book so that he manage to improve things he supposed to improve? urghhhh...