You know I've been trying everything (most of everything)
to be called a mom-to-be...
And the last treatment I got, makes me 90% sure of its success...
With the doc's said that's nothing's wrong with me now..
everything is just like new..
Right a week after the injection,
I started to feel period-like cramp around my lower abdomen
Saya teringat email kawan saya
(she get pregnant after 7 months of surgery)
she did tell me about the cramp she got in her early pregnancy
which made her to go & see the doctor..
and that is why I feel regret!!
Saya buat derrrkkkkk je about that cramp
sebab fikir saya, kalau pregnant pun, buat macam biasa..
don't make it too noticeable
(itu juga advice from some of my friends..)
Doktor cakap, tunggu period due date which is on the 17th,
and if by 20th still Cik P doesn't visit,
go for the UPT!!
that's what I was planning to do..
one sad day came
I woke up from bed, and that cramp is no more
I started feeling awkward
and there it came when I was having a shower..
terduduk jap atas toilet bowl..
My heart said, "what else I need to do?"
and the whole day is just a sighing day
to me & my darling Mr.Hubby
I am not a type of easy-giving-up person
I went to a pharmacy and get myself a UPT
saya harap2 saya bunting pelanduk
(pregnant tapi period macam biasa)
but again I was soooooooo wrong
there was only 1 single line
I tried not to think about anything
My mind is free
soo free until I turned blurr & blank that day
but no tears
(bergenang sikit ada lah, itupun sebab tengok Mr.Hubby
tak tahu nak cakap apa to console my dissapointment..)
but it doesn't take that long
after I give a thought to The Creator
ini iradatMu tuhanku
aku akan tetap menunggu tanpa jemu
One thing for sure
I love Mr.Hubby eternally
and I just knew, he loves me unconditionally
our love is stronger
despite our 'monthly dissappointment'
yes, if only I went earlier to see the Dr Marsita
maybe there's 'him/her' inside me
so we could save him/her to stay longer inside me
but, if Allah wants that to happen
it will happen
NO MORE QUESTIONS!!!